Radical Self-love As Resistance
Are you feeling the call for revolution?
I am.
But I’m also in a place of curious contemplation about what kind of revolution is needed right now—or at the very least, what kind I’m called to be part of.
Are you asking these kinds of questions too, as you watch those in power—those who believe revolution should come from the top—a revolution meant to return power primarily to white “Christian” men, à la Project 2025?
They have a strong and clear vision.
They’ve been working toward it for years, and they have plans to keep going.
If we want a different kind of world, I believe we need a vision that’s even stronger—and our methods will need to be different than theirs.
As I mentioned last week, I recently re-listened to and re-read Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body is Not an Apology.
If ever there was a book for this moment, this is it.
In it, Taylor sets forth a vision for a world built on radical self-love.
Now that would be revolutionary, wouldn’t it?
Do you dare to believe in the possibility?
In the chapter titled “A New Way Ordered by Love,” Taylor shares:
“I want to change the world by convincing you to love every facet of yourself, radically and unapologetically—even the parts you don’t like.
And through this work, illustrate for you how radical love alters our planet.
Radical self-love is an internal process offering external transformation.” (p. 81)
She later quotes Grace Lee Boggs, civil and labor rights activist:
“People who are full of hate and anger against their oppressors can make a rebellion, but not a revolution . . .Therefore, any group that achieves power, no matter how oppressed, is not going to act differently from their oppressors as long as they have not confronted the values that they have internalized and adopted different values.”
Revolution starts internally. It requires heart change.
Taylor writes that to halt global body terrorism—the systemic harm done to real human bodies—we must release the belief that some bodies are better than others.
And before you say, “Of course! I already believe that! Black Lives Matter! Trans lives matter!”
Pause. Reflect.
Do you ever look in the mirror and tell your body it’s not good enough?
How different is that judgment from what those in power are doing—deciding which bodies are worthy and which are not?
That’s how sneaky internalized oppression can be.
That’s why we start with our own hearts. Our own bodies.
We start by refusing to reject any part of ourselves.
We start by listening to what our bodies need—and responding.
That might mean:
Going to the bathroom instead of pushing through
Cooking a nourishing meal despite the looming deadline
Spending time in your garden because your heart says “this matters”—even when your mind says it’s not enough
And before you question whether those actions will change the world, remember this: Our hearts are the seat of our courage.
Courage comes from the Latin cor, meaning heart.
In one of its earliest forms, it meant: “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”
For many of us, one place we need courage most—just after loving and caring for ourselves without apology—is in social situations.
So here’s an invitation:
Commit to the first of the Fourteen Unapologetic Agreements of Radical Self-Love, as shared by Sonya Renee Taylor:
Be a body-shame free friend. How?
Eliminate language that disparages bodies based on race, age, size, gender, ability, sexual orientation, religion, mental health status, or any other attribute.
Compassionately challenge others you hear using body-shaming language to describe themselves or others.
This includes health or concern trolling (making unsolicited comments about a person’s health based on their physical appearance).” (p. 94)
My note: Compassionately is key.
Call-out culture is part of what’s contributed to the backlash we’re experiencing now.
It reflects the very pattern of violent force we’re trying to dissolve.
And yes—you’ll make some mistakes. That’s how we learn.
Don’t let that stop you from trying.
I won’t let it stop me either.
Here’s to thriving and equity, radical self-love, and revolutionary courage,
Deb
A Resource:
Writer Kaitlin Curtice speaks to the importance of listening to our bodies, how we’ve been disconnected from both our bodies and the Earth, and how we can begin to reconnect with both in Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast.
More to Think About:
Richard Blanco, in How To Love a Country, writes from the body of a gay man and an immigrant in the U.S. He offers a vision greater than violence and domination, exclusion and punishment—while acknowledging the harm he’s experienced. What if we followed his lead and lived out a “Declaration of Interdependence”?
Ross Gay, poet, essayist, and biracial Black man, offers a similar vision in his essay “We Kin” in the book Inciting Joy. An avid gardener, he uses gardens and gardening as metaphors to show for how deeply IN dependence (get it? not independent, but IN dependence) we all are.
I leave you with this unfinished sentence to ponder:
If independence itself is a fiction, and the current United States is built on that foundation . . .
Hmm. What’s next?