It’s an Invitation, Not a Test
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I bought an island on a lake in upstate New York last year.
Buying Raspberry Island was not a logical financial decision. It wasn’t even a rational, emotional, social, or professional decision. Well, my mind can’t figure out the logic of it just yet.
I followed my heart/gut logic on this one, as is becoming my usual way of being. And the truth is, in my experience, there IS logic to their leadings. I just don’t usually recognize it on the front end. It’s like how a myth can be "true on the inside, but not on the outside."
I believe buying this island is both logical and true on the inside (from the perspective of my soul/original essence/true self). I keep looking for hints as to what purposes my true self had in mind when it said yes to the adventure.
I share this “I-don’t-quite-understand-it-all-yet-and-by-the-way-I-don’t-have-a-boat-or-a-dock-or-a-way-to-power-my-computer-so-that-I-can-start-working-on-this-island-which-I- really-need-to-do-ASAP” moment with you, in case you too are in the midst of a time when you’re not quite sure of the HOW of your way forward, but you are forging ahead anyway. You have a fellow traveler on the path.
If you too are seeking to follow your inner knowing instead of staying in the small box of respectability, normalcy, and appropriateness that you’ve lived in for most of your life, and though you feel invigorated by the fresh air, sometimes wonder, “Am I just fooling myself into big mistakes?” will you shoot me an email so I can listen to you and hear your amazingness and reflect it back to you.
If you’re feeling the suffocating smallness of the box you live in and are considering peeking out, but it looks scary, and you’re not sure you want to risk it, I can say from my experience that it IS scary sometimes. I, for example, am still terrified of the power of waves and wind and water and also, to be honest, of the scorn of people who see me struggling to manage to dock a boat and the rejection of those who think my work is not just silly, but evil. But I’ve survived both and found more support than rejection overall.
You know this already, but you might have forgotten…that when you do scary things, you get stronger. And when you learn through experience that you can trust yourself to do hard things, fewer and fewer things about life seem scary.
Also, the scary stuff doesn’t always happen.
My friend Alisa and I enjoyed all kinds of weather when we traveled to and stayed at Raspberry Island last week to bless her, open windows, create lists of the work to do, and just enjoy connecting with this marvelous spot of wildland. Nights had been in the 30s before we got there and after, but not while we were there.
There was a strong North wind when we opened the house on the north side of the island that hadn’t been used for decades. It felt like a partner in blowing out the old and bringing in new life. There was one perfectly calm day, on the day when we had to go back to shore to get food and ice for our cooler and to shower. There was a warm, pouring rain on another day – that allowed us to “shower” on the island. We got much more support than a challenge from the weather. It could have gone another way. But it didn’t.
Also, as Ms. Raspberry kept trying to tell me when I was there, “It’s an invitation, not a test.” She kept reminding me that she might have rocky edges and roaches and spiders, but if I looked at her, if I could really see her, I’d see how enticing the invitation was. And I’d remember that she’s not asking me to do it all perfectly. Just to show up ready to connect and have some fun.
And by “it,” I’m pretty sure she meant ALL THE THINGS, not just her. All of life. Even the parts that some people call tests. More about that next week. In the meantime, I wonder…
What’s inviting you today?
Here’s to thriving and equity,
Deb
P.S. Also, you are officially invited to check out the LORE (Lifestyle of Reverence Everyday) community. It’s movement. It’s fun. It’s community. There are moon ceremonies if you want to join in and bonus embodied astrology sessions. There’s no way to do it wrong. And within the community, Larissa Parson and I are leading ten weeks of social justice conversations about radical self-love based on the book Your Body Is Not an Apology. There’s a sliding scale cost that is a BARGAIN (in my opinion), but if you need a scholarship, let me know. I know the founder has some available, and if they’re gone, I’ll do what I can to help.